Sunday, May 9, 2010

The end of Kielbasa Stories???

It may be the end of Kielbasa Stories as we know it.

Anticipated comments:

Reaction 1: What? Chris, no! We love you and Kielbasa Stories so much. You are such a clever and talented writer with an amazing sense of humor. It would be a tragedy to end such a fantastically funny and informative blog. You are a national treasure.

Let’s just clarify that Reaction 1 exists only in my mind where I hold myself in very high esteem.

Reaction 2: Who cares? I just read Kielbasa Stories while I’m waiting for Onet’s homepage to open.

Let’s clarify that Reaction 2 exists in a deep, dark corner of my mind where I go when I’m having a bad day and when my hair looks like crap which is much too often these days.

Reaction 3: No more Kielbasa Stories? Bummer. Let’s see what Stardust is doing.

Let’s clarify that Reaction 3 is probably somewhat closer to reality than Reaction 1 and Reaction 2.

Here’s the deal. In order for Kielbasa Stories to exist and make sense, we have to live in Poland. I mean it is the story of how I moved to Poland and survived.

But….if Jarosław Kaczynski wins in the next presidential election, Misiu says we are out of here. I guess I should start preparing Hot Dog, Hamburger and Apple Pie Stories because we’d be going back to America. Or would we? Misiu said the same thing when Lech Kaczynski became president and somehow we survived.

A brief summary for the politically non-interested people: Jarosław Kaczynski is the identical twin brother of the late Lech Kaczynski, the president who died in a plane crash last month. Lech was seen as conservative (by many as ultra-conservative) and he was accused of nationalism on many occasions. Lech also had very strong political ties with the Catholic Church. His brother, Jarosław, is seen as all those things times 10. I mean his campaign slogan says it all - “Poland is the most important” (Polska jest najważniejsza).

Come on, everybody knows that America is the most important ;)

I’m not saying that Jarosław is a bad candidate. If you are very conservative and religious (read: Catholic), then he is the candidate for you. It used to be said that he would never get elected as he is and always has been single. But (and I don’t mean to be crass) in the hearts and minds of the electorate, a deceased twin brother totally trumps a non-existent first lady.

That leaves us in limbo (not really, I’m just kidding about the move) until after the election. Of course, there is a strong chance that the acting president Bronisław Komorowski will win the election as predicted before the death of Lech Kaczynski.

It got to me thinking about my voting habits. I tend to vote moderate to liberal, and since I have moved to Poland I have voted pretty liberal (I’m talking about the US elections ‘cause I can’t vote here). Americans abroad tend to vote like me. Poles abroad are split. Poles in Europe tend to vote moderate to liberal as well, while Poles in the US tend to vote conservative. Perhaps it has to do with age and has not as much to do with immigration. Poles spread throughout Europe tend to be part of the new immigration and are a bit younger, while Poles in the US tend to be from an earlier wave of immigration and tend to be a bit older. They’d probably vote the same way if they still lived in Poland.

A couple of nights ago, I did have a dream that we were moving back to the US. In my dream, I was crying uncontrollably. Yes, yes, I would miss Poland a lot, but that’s not why I was crying. I was crying because I had come to the realization (in my dream) that I wouldn’t be able to pack my Polish pottery collection and take it with me and I would have to…..SELL IT!!!!! And the tears came rolling down. I know that some of you completely and totally understand what I am talking about.

Anyone want to buy a superb Polish pottery collection real cheap? Contact me after the elections.

17 comments:

Darius said...

.
Even if the (totally understandable) moving would be happening, I'm sure there are still thousand of anecdotes about Poland I'd love to keep reading. So I'd say Reaction 1 would be the closer in reality from me ;]

Still... the USA? Being you guys so young, why not to fancy about living somewhere else? "Tri-languaged" kids are even smarter than "Bi-";D

Zuzanka said...

Reaction 1: +1. :>

C'mon, Polish people are tough, even 5 years of another Kaczynski won't break them. You are half Polish now, so.

Greetings from Poznań's suburbs.

Kasia said...

"What? Chris, no! I love you and Kielbasa Stories so much..."
And you explain the strange contry, that used to be my home (I had to left Polen 20 years ago and live in Germany), to me much better with your view as an american girl, than any fellow countrymen, used to all this madness there, could do.
So please, don´t stop. And I hope, that no twin would win the elections.

Stardust said...

Chris, damn it!! I guess, I'm not polish any more:)) I always, always vote liberal and will never ever vote any republican even if he pays me in gold:)) (dollars won't do it) I am totally liberal in heart and will never change my views.
Of course I am talking about american elections, because from the time I come to US I have never voted in polish elections, have no interest in coming back, then why vote?
Have to admit that this polish election is quite interesting, and I worry... for the same reason as Misiu.
But to make you feel better, I have survived 2 terms of Bush (wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) and I also said I'll leave US if the schmuck gets the 2nd term. So maybe Misiu is just venting his feelings;)) In my book dynasty of Bushes or Kaczynskis is the same SHIT!!!
And don't you ever think, you can stop writing, you know all this Polish people will haunt you:)))

ucieczka said...

Yes, I also think that if you ever wanted to move from PL, choose different European country. I mean for kids, it would be perfect! (my maybe-future children will be very unhappy, as I will want them to learn couple of languages :D)
But as moving is not seriously considered, please start writing about polish bad habits ;)
And reaction 1 is ok! - you don't have high esteem - you just are so good ;)

Anonymous said...

kris u just confirm my opinion about americans, they are ,morons.

Stardust said...

Hahaha Chris congratulations!! You just got yourself first coward:))) Don't you love people who try to bite and don't have any teeth?

Bee said...

You'll stay no matter who's the president, I'm sure :-)

ds said...

why don't you sell it real expensive, rather? ;)

well, I must say I have left poland after Lech Kaczynski became president. true, it was not the only reason, but it was there.

slawekk said...

Reaction 1 from here. But, on the other hand Hot Dog, Hamburger and Apple Pie Stories would be almost as enterntaining. But, seriously, I don't think who is the president should be the main reason for decisions to move out of the country. Presidents come and go and in Poland they don't have that much power anyway.

Chris said...

Darius - You are right that I have a lot more Kielbasa Stories in me even if we moved back to the US. But moving to another country, foreign to us both? It would be exciting and a great experience for our children, but I'm just too lazy for such a move.

Zuzanka- Hello up there in Poznan. Absolutely, 5 years will not break "us".

Kasia - Thanks. I hope that my perspective is still fresh enough even after all these years.

Stardust - You win the award for enduring 2 terms of Bush. Regardless of who wins here, the president does not have as much power as in the US.

Ucieczka - I have a lot of plans of what to write (about the habits, good, bad or different) but so far that's all I have - plans :)

Chris said...

Anonymous- Of all the things I have written, I do not find anything particulary moronic about this post, but to each his own. I can take the good with the bad.

Bee - You are right. We're not going anywhere, at least not because of who the president is. It's our little family joke.

ds - Sell it expensive? You've got something there.

slawekk- You're right. We are staying and of course it was just a joke :) Maybe the next time I go to the States I will temporarily switch over Kielbasa Stories to Hot Dog, Hamburger and Apple Pie Stories to chronicle my reverse culture shock. I think you know something about that :)

Kasia said...

Chris - no worries, we are planning on voting and I can assure you that neither me, nor my other half, nor two friends we've had BBQ with yesterday are going to vote Mr Kaczynski :)

But if you decide to sell your pottery - I'll take it ;)

Chris said...

Kasia- Cool, I'll keep you in mind when the time comes :)

Lukrecja z Borgiow said...

Chris,
You survive, in case you don't, I think there is a cheap way to ship the pottery to US, LOL.

Oh, and don't you just love people who leave an anonymous comments?

Anonymous said...

CHRIS NOOOO!!! I really do love your kielbasa stories and i don't want them to go! (I would also love if you kept them in English, i'm still learning basic Polish!!) I don't know how i'd learn about every day polish life without your incredibly informative blog! I'm coming to Poland this summer and i really want to know more about how the people there act because I love love love Poland!!

Chris said...

Thanks everyone for the nice comments. Even though I was kind of fishing for compliments, I didn't expect so many kind words :)

Lukrecja - The shipping company would be needed definitely but y'know, besides the pottery and some things of my kids, I'd probably get rid of everything. Of course, we are just joking about the move. I'm glad that all of you (except one anonymous friend) got the joke :)

Anonymous 2: I'm not going anywhere. I hope that you enjoy your trip this summer and that in some way I was able to give you a heads up on Polish life :)