Sunday, June 27, 2010

Somewhere a Dinner Gets Cold – Gdzieś Stygnie Obiad

I have just read an interesting article  "Somewhere a Dog Barked" by Rosecrans Baldwin published here in Slate.

The article addresses the literary use of phrases such as “somewhere a dog barked”  and “a dog barks in the distance”. These phrases and other similar ones show up in a wide array of literature over time. So, what’s up with the barking dogs?

The author of the article suggests that the barking dogs could just be the lazy remains of an author thinking through the scene while still writing. In Baldwin’s opinion, use of these phrases when said dog never makes an appearance are “empty and cheap”, but the author does make another suggestion of just what could be behind all those barking dogs - perhaps those barking dogs represent an inside joke between authors, a kind of “Hey. I’m a published author, too” kind of a thing.

I am convinced that the same phenomenon occurs in Poland as well, not in written literature, but on television. Before you read on, please note that I am totally serious. I think the writers of one Polish television program have made some kind of a bet, probably over a bottle of vodka. The bet being this: “Hey, I bet you can’t work this phrase into each and every episode” which was answered by “You are on, sucker!”

From that hypothesized bet made years ago (in my imagination) we now must endure the oft-repeated phrase, “Umyj ręce bo obiad stygnie” on Klan (Wash your hands. Dinner is getting cold). If you don’t believe it, just watch a couple of episodes with my (imaginary) bet in mind and tell me that they don’t say it way too often to be by accident. I think I’m on to something.

Or maybe a barking dog is just a barking dog and a cold dinner is nothing more than a cold dinner.

Not to jinx any remote chance of anything I have written ever being published, I finish this post listening to the faint hum of my computer, the rhythmic breathing of my sleeping children and the sound of a dog barking somewhere in the distance.

Good night

Gdzieś Stygnie Obiad

Właśnie przeczytałam ciekawy artykuł “Somewhere a Dog Barked” autorstwa Rosecrans Baldwina opublikowany tutaj w Slate.

Ten artykuł dotyczy literackiego użycia takich zwrotów jak „gdzieś zaszczekał pies” i „pies szczekał w oddali”. Te zwroty i inne podobne pojawiają się w szerokiej gamie literatury poprzez różne epoki. O co chodzi z tymi szczekającymi psami?

Autor artykułu sugeruje, że szczekające psy to mogą być leniwe resztki autora i jego myśli w trakcie pisania. Według Baldwina, używanie tego zwrotu, kiedy wskazany pies nigdy nie pojawi w historii ani przed ani potem jest „puste i tanie”. Chociaż autor ma pomysł, co kryje się za tymi szczekającymi psami. Może to jest prywatny dowcip między autorami – jakieś „Hej, patrzcie na mnie. Ja też jestem publikowanym autorem.”

Jestem przekonana że takie samo zjawisko istnieje w Polsce, nie w literaturze ale w telewizji. Przed dalszym czytaniem, proszę wziąć pod uwagę, że mówię na serio. Myślę, że pisarze jednego z seriali telewizyjnych mają jakiś zakład między sobą, prawdopodobnie założony przy butelce wódki. Zakład jest taki: „Hej. Na pewno wy nie możecie wykorzystać takiego zwrotu w każdym odcinku”, na który dostał odpowiedz „Coś ty. Możemy! Zakład stoi, frajerzy!”

Od tego hipotetycznego zakładu ustanowionego wieki temu (tak sobie to wyobrażam) teraz musimy znosić często powtarzany zwrot „Umyj ręce, bo obiad stygnie” z Klanu. Jak nie wierzysz mi, proszę, obejrzyj kilka odcinków mając ten (fikcyjny) zakład na myśli i powiedz mi, że nie nadużywają tego zwrotu – o dużo za dużo żeby to było przez przypadek. Chyba coś w tym jest.

Albo szczekający pies to po prostu szczekający pies a stygnący obiad to nic więcej niż tylko stygnący obiad.

Nie chcę zapeszać mało prawdopodobnej szansy, że moje prace będą kiedyś opublikowane, tak więc, kończę ten post słuchając cichego szumu mojego komputera, rytmicznego oddychania dzieci z sypialni, i szczekanie psa gdzieś w oddali.

Dobranoc

Sunday, June 20, 2010

We Choose Bronek - Wybieramy Bronka

Today we voted for President. When I say we, I mean Misiu because I cannot vote, but we all went along for moral support.

Last night at bedtime, Lizzie asked her usual bedtime questions –

Lizzie:  Mamusia, how old were you when you were my age?

Me:  When I was your age, I was 4.

Lizzie:  Mommy! I’m 4!

Me:  Yes, I know.

Lizzie:  Mamusia, is tomorrow a school day?

Me:  No, tomorrow is Sunday.

Lizzie:  How many more times do I have to go to sleep and wake up before I can go to school?

Me:  2 nights, sweetheart.

After that, to interest Lizzie in something other than pre-school, Misiu explained that we were going to select a new president. That got Lizzie excited.

So today, in the car all the way to the polling station, Lizzie repeated, “We are going to pick the president. I’d like to see all kinds of presidents. I hope there’s one that looks like Daniel Wojtan.” That’s a very nice boy from her class. We tried to explain to her that you shouldn’t pick your president based on what he or she looks like, but on how well that candidate represents your interests, but she was already asleep in her car seat.

We arrived at the polling station, waited in line and got our ballot. Lizzie put an X in the place that Misiu showed her and then Misiu lifted Lizzie to the place the ballot in the incredibly high ballot box. Lizzie informed the whole hall of people that we “voted for Bronek” and that they should vote for Bronek too. At the same time, Rosie peed all over Misiu.

After we got back to the car, Lizzie explained her disappointment in the whole voting process. What a pity, jaded at such a young age. You see, she thought that the candidates were going to be live and in person at the polling station and that’s how we’d pick. No candidates. What a bummer.

It seems that there will be part 2 of the election (no candidate got more than 50% of the votes) and luckily for Lizzie, Bronek will be one of the candidates.

PS  I’m referring to PO candidate Bronisław Komorowski (acting President after the death of President Lech Kaczyński) who will run again PIS candidate Jarosław Kaczyński (brother of the late Lech Kaczyński).

Wybieramy Bronka

Dzisiaj głosowaliśmy na Prezydenta. Kiedy powiem “my”, to znaczy Misiu ponieważ ja nie mogę głosować ale chcieliśmy dać moralne wsparcie.

Wczoraj wieczorem, Lizzie zadawała jej standardowe pytania przed spaniem –

Lizzie: Mamusia, ile miałaś lat kiedy byłaś w moim wieku?

Ja: Kiedy byłam w twoim wieku miałam 4 lata.

Lizzie: Mamo! Ja mam 4 lata!

Ja: Tak, wiem.

Lizzie:  Mamusia, czy jutro jest dzień szkolny?

Ja:  Nie, jutro jest niedziela.

Lizzie: Ile razy muszę iść spać i wstać, zanim pójdę do szkoły.

Ja: Dwa razy, kochanie.

Potem żeby zainteresować Lizzie czymś innym niż przedszkole, Misiu powiedział, że idziemy wybierać nowego prezydenta. To ją zainteresowało.

Więc dzisiaj w samochodzie całą drogę do komisji wyborczej Lizzie powtarzała, „Idziemy wybierać prezydenta. Chciałabym zobaczyć rożne rodzaje prezydentów. Mam nadzieję, że będzie jeden, który wygląda jak Daniel Wojtan.” To jest bardzo fajny chłopak z jej grupy. Próbowaliśmy wytłumaczyć, że prezydenta nie wybiera się ze względu na wygląd ale to czy i na ile kandydat reprezentuje twoje interesy, ale już zasnęła w foteliku samochodowym.

Dotarliśmy do komisji wyborczej, czekaliśmy w kolejce i dostaliśmy naszą kartę do głosowania. Lizzie zaznaczyła X tam gdzie Misiu pokazał i potem Misiu podniósł Lizzie do strasznie wysokiej urny. Lizzie poinformowała całą salę że właśnie „zagłosowaliśmy na Bronka” i że oni też powinni głosować na Bronka. Na dodatek, Rosie zsikała się na Misia.

Wróciliśmy do samochodu, gdzie Lizzie powiedziała, że jest rozczarowana tym całym głosowaniem. Co za szkoda, sterana życiem w tak młodym wieku. Ona myślała, że kandydaci będą na żywo i w ten sposób będziemy wybierać. Nie było kandydatów. Ale kicha!

Tak wygląda, że będzie druga tura wyborów (żaden z kandydatów nie dostał więcej niż 50% głosów) i na szczęście dla Lizzie Bronek jest jednym z kandydatów.

PS Oczywiście chodzi o kandydata PO Bronisława Komorowskiego (pełniącego obowiązki prezydenta po śmierci Lecha Kaczyńskiego), który zmierzy się z kandydatem PIS Jarosławem Kaczyńskim (bratem zmarłego Lecha Kaczyńskiego).

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I can’t deal with it

I’d just like to go the book store and be surrounded by titles I can read. I want to buy any newspaper and easily understand all the articles. I want to talk with someone without having to think through the conversation in my head first. The typical gripes of someone living abroad - all these things which make my everyday life interesting and at the same time frustrating.

Let’s face it, I’m never going to be fluent in Polish even if I live here for the rest of my life. Can I deal with that? Can I deal with the fact that I don’t have what it takes to become fluent in Polish even if I live here forever?

Today, I’m feeling that no, I cannot deal with that.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Nature Calls

As I mentioned awhile back, my living quarters when I first came to Poland were less than desirable - the archives room of a PZU office building in the Village – unless you like that kind of a thing. Also, previously mentioned was my kitchen/bathroom situation - I shared a bathroom and kitchen with all of PZU which was less than desirable too, unless you are an extreme people person and you like that kind of a thing. If you need a refresher, click here.

imageI shared my bathroom with all PZU, until one day when they informed me that the bathroom was out of order, but not to worry, it would be repaired later that day…and as I was new to Poland and to plumbing problems, I believed them. My neighbors downstairs (the maintenance man and his family) joked that I could use their bathroom, but when it turned out that the bathroom would not be repaired in one day, the offer evaporated. OK, there was another toilet for use in the building for PZU employees. It was far away – not a problem when you really got to go, except for one problem, it was locked after 4 pm and no amount of begging could persuade anyone in charge that my need for the key was legit.

So, there I was left with no toilet and no shower and not knowing how long it would be. Great.

The best part was that no one cared. When I explained my plight at school and asked for some assistance in resolving the issue, I was met with helpless shrugs of the shoulder. Finally, the Principal said he would “take care of it”. If you want to know what “I will take care of it” really means in the mouth of this Principal, I can tell you.  It means: I will forget about this problem as soon as you leave this room and never think about it again. When you ask me about it in another week, I will act as if I am hearing it for the first time.

Now that I think about it, it really burns me up that they treated me like that, but on the other hand, it gave Misiu an opportunity to come to my rescue, first by offering me a place to get washed up and second by making sure my bathroom got repaired.

On a positive note, I made a nice friend – the night shift gas station attendant who was very generous with the WC key.



PS Kielbasa Stories has a new follower. Welcome akwarelia! Thank you for joining us and thank you for reading.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

In All Fairness

In all fairness to the idea of culture squashing, last weekend I decided to do my best to partake of other cultures besides mine.

First, we went to a City festival entitled “Europe on a Fork” where chefs were preparing dishes from different countries of Europe. I think that many of the chefs (if not all) were foreign. The whole shindig was too late for us though, starting after we had already been in the Market Square with the kids a few hours, so we went home without trying anything. Anyhow, there was a long, long line at the ticket cashier to buy tickets, but when we left the booth was still closed and the line was growing.

I also gave a fair shake to the other news outlets (I’m usually a slave to CNN International and TVN24). I checked out BBC World, the French news channel (where all the female newscasters look, well, with their messed up hair and sly grins, kind of, well, post-coital), the German news channel, AlJazeera, and the Russian news channel. I didn’t learn anything that I didn’t already know, but the change of pace was nice.

I couldn’t forget about the soaps, so I checked out the Korean international channel. People on Korean soaps look surprisingly European and like most soaps, the actors and actresses are super polished. The main plot line of the soap I was watching was that a young man’s girlfriend was thought inappropriate by his parents. The girlfriend apparently had not even graduated from high school and her parents were thought to be low class – an international problem with a Korean twist. However, I think soaps (Korean or otherwise) have to be taken with a grain of salt. I mean, how realistically does Klan portray real Polish life? And unfortunately, we are broadcasting (via satellite) all over the world our idea of sexy, the embodiment of which is…Rysiu ;)

I also checked out some foreign channels not in English. I paid most attention to the commercials just as I did when I started watching Polish TV before I knew Polish. I especially like Egyptian commercials for laundry detergent. Apparently, Egyptian women have the same problem as women the world over…how to clean their sloppy-eating husband’s shirts…or in this case -  robes.

As far as music goes, I checked out the UK rock chart on MTV Rocks. I am pleased to say that I didn’t know even one song. So much for the culturally squashed music industry. Unfortunately, I am now addicted to MTV Rocks and have started to notice the similarities in the songs. The more I watch, the more the facade of cutting edge rock music crumbles.

My next plan is to watch the Russian travel channel in English if I can find it on my satellite of a thousand channels.

PS1 In my attempt to make my blog more accessible for the Polish- speaking audience, I (and when I say I, I mean Misiu) am in the process of translating the old posts. My goal is for all posts to exist in the original form in English followed by the Polish translation under the same post heading. It will take some time, so current posts will be few and far between for awhile. My apologies in advance.

PS2 Greetings to Monika and Design Patrol, two new followers of Kielbasa Stories. Welcome to you both. Thanks for joining us and thanks for reading.

PS3 Last but not least, greetings for Big Apple Ewa. It was so nice to see you today as it always is. I hope that some day we can meet in New York :)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Sorry For Squashing Your Culture

A summary and discussion of the paper by Fernando Ferreira and Joel Waldfogel, called “Pop Internationalism: Has a Half Century of World Music Trade Displaced Local Culture?” can be found on the Freakonomics blog here.

This paper refers to the influence of a dominant economy’s culture on the domestic culture of less influential countries. The influence on the music industry was used to explore this phenomenon, examining purchasing and airplay of foreign music and the homogenous sounds of pop and rock music the world over.

As I come from the said dominant culture, I have enjoyed this phenomenon without really thinking about its possible detrimental effects. I can listen to “my” music on MTV and on the radio. Even the Polish hits are so similar to “my” music, I sometimes hardly notice that the lyrics are in Polish. A nice thing in Poland (and in Europe) is that I can hear hits from France, from Germany, from Italy, etc. all on our local radio station. Does it matter that I have no idea what they are saying? Not really.

Does it matter that many Polish people have no idea what the American hip hop stars are saying? Not really, but it does get under my skin that for 3 months straight I had to listen to the “dirty” version of Snoop Dog’s “P.I.M.P”. every morning on the local radio station on my way to work .

It is nice for me that when my teenage students get beyond annoying, I can just throw out a question like, “Who’s better? Jacob or Edward?” or “What’s up with Justin Bieber’s hair?” They know what I am talking about better than I do, actually, but I think it has something to do with age, not nationality ;)

I like it that I can watch “my” sitcoms and “my” hospital drama. I used to watch Polish soap operas to sharpen my Polish language skills and to try to get an insight into Polish culture, but since I have been able to watch “my” shows, I have stopped watching Polish shows. And as for Polish sitcoms, I never started to watch them. I just can’t get into them and honestly speaking they cannot compare to “my” sitcoms (even or maybe especially the ones that were copies such as Nania (The Nanny) and Hela w opałach (Grace Under Fire). They try to be so much like “my” sitcoms that they often end up as caricatures.

I definitely do not watch any shows like Dancing with the Stars or You Can Dance. I don’t watch the American versions either to be fair. OK, strike that, I did watch Dancing with the Stars once, when Anna Mucha was on. I couldn’t resist. Her bottom in hot pants is so mesmerizing :)

And hence the question emerges, without the influence of “my” culture, would domestic cultures create cultural products (music, television, films, etc.) which are stronger, more original and more representative of their own culture? I mean, if my students and friends could not access Dr House and Lost the day after a new episode appears in America, would Poland produce its own original shows, just as entertaining as anything available in America. My students say “no”. They say that Poland would produce the same shyte, and we would have to pretend that we liked it because their wouldn’t be any other choice.

What do you think?

PS What I like from Polish popular culture:

I love to watch old Polish cabarets, for example “Tey” from the PRL-era especially the skit explaining where poverty comes from (skąd pochodzi bieda). Sometimes on the radio they play cabarets from the 40’s and 50’s. Awesome!

I like to listen to Maryla Rodowicz’s songs from any era. She is a superstar.

One of my most favorite love songs of all times is “Nie mogę Ci wiele dać” (I can’t give you much) by Perfect. It’s corny but those lyrics bring a tear to my eyes every time.

Druga strona medalu with Jolanta Pieńkowska and Szkło kontaktowe are two of my favorite TV shows. Szkło kontaktowe (Contact Lenses) is a kind of political talk show with a sense of humor and Druga strona medalu (The other side of the coin) is an interview program where the host Jolanta Pieńkowska earnestly interviews her guests. I feel that she asks all the questions I want to ask and some I haven’t even thought of asking, not like some talk shows in America that are getting so superficial. It’s as if the interview comes in 2nd to being able to show your face on TV.

As for films, I really like Sex Misja and yes I get that they were poking fun at communism.

I could go on, but I’ll give it a rest. I mean it is a national holiday today. I should be resting.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Hard To Please

I admit that I am a hard customer to please, especially when it comes to hairdressers. I’m on my 3rd hairdresser since I had to give up on my hairdresser almost one year ago.

Usually, my visits to the hairdresser begin with a long explanation of what I don’t want, followed by an even longer explanation of what I do want. In the end, my hair never turns out as I intended, but it’s just hair. It’ll grow back.

Today, I decided on a different approach. Rather than the long explanation of how to cut my hair (I mean, c’mon, I don’t want to tell somebody how to do their job), I decided to tell the hairdresser what look I was going for, hoping that she would just “get it”.

“How are we cutting your hair today?” the new hairdresser asks.

“Shorter,” I joked, but only I was laughing. I continued, “Ok, here’s the thing. I wanna look like a rock star.”

“Mmhh.”

“A 1970’s rock star,” I explain.

“Mmhh.”

“A 1970’s rock star who also has a normal job and needs to look normal Monday through Friday,” I add just for clarification.

“Mmhh. Let’s get started.”image

She didn’t even flinch!

I think I’ve found my new hairdresser.

I wonder what my hair will look like tomorrow when I have to do it myself?