You think you know somebody

Today’s good news is that I managed to avoid feces of all kind, fiend and fowl (or is it fish or fowl, or beast or fowl, or something like that?). Considering last Friday, that made for a good day.

Mister “Jewish Conspiracy Theory” kept a lid on it. Considering our last conversation, that made for a good day. (He probably just thinks I’m part of the spisek.)

This week I learned that just because someone seems to be like you, doesn’t mean that they actually are like you. I mean, the lady with the dog on the bus, let’s assume that she was somewhat like me. I mean we were both on the bus at the same time…ok, the similarities end there but I know that if my (imaginary) dog were to poo on the bus, I would be responsible for picking it up. I thought that everyone knew that. I guess not. Pan Spisek isn’t so different from me. I mean we like a lot of the same books and have a similar sense of humor. I mean, I know the Jews are not out to get me and I thought that he did too. That’s what you get for making assumptions.

Take my  “American” neighbor. Do you remember him? I have an American car. He has an American car. He wears a “Vote Obama” hat. He picks up after his dog. We live on the same street. You’d think we’d have similar world views, but as I’ve recently learned we couldn’t be more different.

I ran into my American neighbor (40 years in America, retired to Poland) while he was out walking his dog. He greeted me with a “Good Morning” and started a conversation about the recent elections in the US. The conversation quickly turned from English to Polish as we both realized that the last 6 years in Poland has not done wonders for his English. The conversation got real weird real fast after that. My neighbor informed me that you just can’t get good, reliable news anywhere. All the TV channels and radio stations spew lies. Lies, I tell you! They just try to entertain you to distract you from the real issues. If you want to find out what is really going on you can get the truth in only 2 places. Radio Maryja and Telewizja Trwam. And he just heard on Radio Maryja (of all places) that America has 0% inflation because they just keep on printing all that money. Dollars everywhere. But in Poland we don’t do that. We know that we have to suffer inflation with a strong back.

He wears Uggs for gawd’s sake!

And OK, increasing the money supply (which can be done by manipulating the interest rate, money printing nonessential) during an economic downturn usually does not increase inflation, but I’m not sure that’s exactly how the “economists” at RM explained the situation.

What was I doing during this (one-sided) conversation? Standing with my mouth very elegantly hanging open. You can call it my Jewish-conspiracy face. I was speechless. Literally, speechless. All I could manage to say was the super intelligent, “Ja nie przepadam za Radio Maryja.” I also said that I would be late picking up my kids from school and I high-tailed it out of there.

You think you know a person.

What a day

You know what’s worse than being shat on? Having to spend an hour listening to a well-respected individual lay-out the whole “Jewish conspiracy” for you and then laugh at you when you don’t agree. At least I’ll get paid.

Do jasnej cholery!

This day has been a very shitty one, literally.

To start, I am carless  - not to be confused with careless. Also not to be confused with carfree. I am carless so that means without a car, without a choice. Why? Bo samochód się zrypał and for good this time. I’m a little sad about it. That was a good car. I drove it all over- in my hometown, to my first big job in Baltimore, in the Big Apple, in Warsaw, all over Poland, to Berlin. Bummer. I even shed a tear when I went to the mechanic to say my final good-byes.

So anyhow, that means Misiu and I have to trade off between bus and public transport. Every Friday Misiu is out of town so it’s the bus for me, all over town.

As I walked the kids to school this morning, I was feeling pretty good. The girls had woken up by themselves and had dressed themselves with minimal fuss. We were out the door with plenty of time to spare. As I left the school and glanced at the clock, I knew I would make it to the bus on time. Ding-dong, all’s well. Then as I stepped outside, a very nasty bird made a very nasty mess on me. I know it’s supposed to be good luck, but do jasnej cholery, it isn’t. I cleaned it off the best I could with a tissue and told myself that it wasn’t so bad.

And it wasn’t. I caught my bus even with time to spare. Ding-dong, all is well and I’m on my way to work. The bus was a bit crowded especially with the lady and her dog. We drove, we stopped, we drove, we turned, we lurched – all the fun of riding the bus. The lady with the dog got off and the folks who had been standing around her relaxed and took advantage of the extra space to move around a bit. Ding-dong, all was well…except for some terrible smell. City buses are not known for their sweet smell, but this was especially putrid. Ah, the lady and the dog had left a nice present for us. It was especially priceless for the 6 of us in the center of the bus who had managed to step in it and spread it around. So much fun for the small fare of 3 zl.

A Polish Thanksgiving

Along with Halloween, we celebrate Thanksgiving here in Poland. When I say “we” I mean our family. Thanksgiving hasn’t made it into the Polish holiday line-up ;) I’m always kind of bummed out on Thanksgiving because I know my family in the US is sitting down together for dinner and I am…at work. Our Thanksgiving always takes place on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Not quite the same but good enough.
Do you know what is the best thing about Thanksgiving (besides family and giving thanks and all that)?
The pumpkin pie! I had to practice to make sure I remember how to make pumpkin pie from last year. Here’s my first practice pie. My second one didn’t turn out.

And now the best thing about NOT having Thanksgiving in Poland…no Black Friday! I am much thankful for that.
Chris’s Pumpkin Pie Recipe – The no-crust version (which is really my mother’s pumpkin pie minus the crust and some sugar)

Ingredients

1 cup flour

1 ½ tsp. baking powder

1/8 tsp. salt

spices to taste (cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg)

½ square butter

¾ cup sugar (white or brown)

2 eggs

½ tsp. vanilla extract

1 can evaporated milk (non-sweetened)

3 cups pumpkin (cooked and mixed)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 180°C. Grease one glass pie pan with butter (bottom and sides) and set aside.

1. Sift or mix together flour, baking powder, salt and spices.

1. In a large bowl, beat together sugar and butter (slightly softened). Beat in 2 eggs.

1. Add dry ingredients and vanilla. Mix.

1. Add pumpkin and mix.

1. Add milk and stir with a spoon.

1. Pour into prepared pan. Bake at 180°C for about 1 hour. Let cool before cutting.

1 cup=235 ml
tsp.=teaspoon
1 tsp.=5ml

Enjoy :)

Coraz bliżej Święta

Chuck Norris w świątecznym wydaniu

Another Bank Zachodni-WBK ad featuring Chuck Norris.

“Come for your Christmas hay”

sianko=hay

hay=cash

So basically Chuch Norris invites you to go into debt this Christmas. Spend your way into the red. Red is a very Christmasey color, isn't it?

And in the Polish Christmas tradition, you put some sianko under the tablecloth at the Christmas Eve supper to symbolize the birth of Jesus in the manger. Every year the newspapers give away a little pack of sianko before Christmas in case you have no where to get some.

Rosie and Lizzie commented that Santa Claus has cool pants. Yes, he does. Very cool leather pants.

Chuck Norris=Santa Claus???

Have you seen this? Maisy the dog

I’m not crazy about pets (allergies), but this little dog is adorable.


Meysi (could it be Maisy in English), owned by Anna Pohl from Jarocin, Poland just may be the smallest dog in the world. Read more here.

Hoping to turn this…

into this…



and this.



And have no idea what to do about this…

…I guess not make a mountain out of it ;)

Blueberry Muffin Recipe

dry ingredients:
1 3/4 cups flour
1/4 cup sugar
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
a pinch of salt

wet ingredients:
1 egg
3/4 cup milk
1/3 cup vegetable oil

1 cup or more of blueberries

Sift the dry ingredients together. Next mix the wet ingredients together. Add the wet mixture to the dry one and stir just enough so that everthing is mixed. Fold in the blueberries. Bake at 200 °C for about 25 minutes in a greased pan or muffin tin.

Smacznego