Monday, November 11, 2019

A Case of the Uglies

In an expat group I am in, we were recently discussing the phenomenon of subjective attractiveness. For example, your are a plain old 6 in your home country, but an exotic 9 in your new country. This is a phenomenon I have never experienced. It's not because the country I moved to has a similar standard of beauty to my own country. It's because they have a similar standard of ugly. I have come to accept my empirical ugliness. People hardly ever let on that they know or wonder if I know they know I know (Friends fans). What can I say? I've got a face for radio. Or podcasts. Or whatever it is that the kids listen to these days. I've finally come to terms with the fact that I am universally, internationally unattractive. Nothing can faze me, right?

As you can probably tell, I'm not hip to what the kids are into these days. If I didn't have kids of my own, I wouldn't even know half of what is going on in pop culture. It's like I am pop culture immune, well not immune, let's say resistant. I'm pop culture resistant. Not intolerant, just resistant. The pop culture just doesn't sink in. Names don't stick. Faces don't stick. Titles I can't remember. All actors are reduced to the description "that guy from that movie with that other guy". If it were not for Google, I would not know anybody's name or the title of any songs.

So I am at work, minding my business, when a couple walks in for their lessons, well, his lessons. They are a Very Attractive Couple, internationally attractive I would even say. We interact in English, however they speak their own language, Polish, between them. It turns out that the Mrs. is none too pleased that her husband's Spanish teacher is a young and attractive woman. But that's the only teacher we've got, so there you are and anyhow, I don't run this show. I assured her that we have plenty of male English teachers, and I am sure she and her husband will be satisfied with their selection if/when he starts English lessons, when the wife turns to the husband and says "z nią możesz mieć". (you can have with her)

I don't suppose it was my sparkling personality that won them over.

It was only much later that I was informed that Mr. and Mrs. are local stars or personalities of some sort. Their universal attractiveness confirmed by their many fans. Well who knew? Not me. Everyone at work did. My kids did though. But no me. Not a clue. Crazy, right?

Keeping it ugly every day.