Children's Day in Poland czyli Dzień Dziecka or whatever

Children's Day is here again. June 1st in Poland every year. We don't have Children's Day in the US where I'm from, so I conveniently forget it each year.

Luckily the kids' school remembers. The older kid's class went to a trampoline park - they're what's "in" now, or as my kids have started saying "mega".

Their father usually remembers as well. Perhaps I should do something for Children's Day. They did a bang up job for Mother's Day this year. I mean I nagged the hell out of them, but still.

They may get nothing from me on Children's Day, but I have given my kids one extremely valuable gift. The gift of chores. Chores? Yes, chores.

Lizzie mowing the lawn 

I had chores as a kid. Didn't we all? I had the basic keeping my room clean chore that most kids get. That chore was non-negotiable. Then each Saturday my sister and I divvied up the rest of the chores on the chore list, alternating each week who got first pick, thus sticking your sister with the chores you despised i.e. cleaning the bathrooms.

Now on the rare occasion I go to the USA, I start in on the chores even after all these years. But it's for a different reason. I want to help. Back then I had no interest in keeping my parents' house clean and looking nice. My parents oft repeated that it was their house, and we had to "pay our way" or "earn our keep". Not the friendliest of parental methods, and not very motivating to us kids to go above and beyond the regular chores. Those were the choriest chores. I did them because I had to. I don't know what the consequences would have been had I not done them. I was too scared to find out. 

I have a slightly different parental philosophy. I remind the kids that this is our home,  and we need to take care of it. If that doesn't work, I turn on an episode of "Hoarders" - Chomikowanie in Polish. It works every time!

I also let my kids play to their strengths. Lizzie enjoys mowing the lawn and cleaning the car inside and out. She also likes to organize things. Rosie isn't too keen on lawn mowing, but she likes digging, planting, weeding, and raking. She also likes kitchen stuff such as cooking, baking, and even washing the dishes. 

In my opinion, chores provide kids with a sense of home, responsibility, family, and even pride. My grandmother always said that there's no shame in being poor, only in being dirty. They also develop life skills that they will need when they leave home. Chores also provide my kids a way to earn pocket money. They have to do basic chores, but they can do extra chores to get a little walking around money. They're happy with that set up and so are we.

Do Polish kids have chores? My husband said that they most certainly do,  maybe not so-named, but they do. When he was a kid he definitely had chores, but without a chart (we don't do the chart either), but yes, he had chores.

We are all just kids at heart ❤️ so treat yourself this Children's Day and don't forget to do your chores!

My Absolutely Unscientific Research: 500+

In the Polish election last autumn the winning party, PiS, took control, some say thanks to its election promise of the 500+ program. The 500 Plus program works like this: a benefit of 500 PLN is paid to families for the second child plus any additional children after that. We are not talking only about new births, but also existing children. So if you have 3 children, you should receive 1000 PLN monthly (0 for the first child + 500 for the second child + 500 for the third child = 1000 PLN). If the family income falls under a certain amount, that family gets the benefit for all the children. Receiving the 500+ does not affect other benefits a family might receive from other institutions. In comparison, the minimum wage is/was 1850 PLN gross and is due to rise to 2000 PLN gross as of January 2017. That is the monthly payment for 40 hours per week.



Some call it a social program. Some call it a handout. Some call it a lifesaver while others call it vote buying. No matter our feelings about it socially or morally, we must remember its effect economically. The government is not paying people from its own money. The government’s money is our money. And according to the latest proposal of the government, my family’s taxes are due to go up next year about the amount of 2x 500+. Somebody has to pay for it, right? Perhaps they could take it from the Smolensk commission budget.

I don’t believe there are any comprehensive studies at the moment on the effect of the 500+ so I have done some independent and completely unscientific research…in my village. A couple of years ago, I talked to a neighbor lady, they call her Fat Kasia which I find unnecessarily cruel as she is the only adult Kasia in the whole village. Anyhow, we were chatting at the village shop as you do when you are in the village. From the contents of her shopping of flour, potatoes, white cheese, and cigarettes, I gathered that Kasia was planning to make a batch of pierogi for the weekend. She lamented greatly at the cost of everything on their one salary and how unfair it was that the furniture factory didn’t pay her husband his salary on time. I agreed that not getting paid on time certainly wasn’t fair indeed, but I also inquired as to her interest in getting a job, you know, to take the pressure off. There were plenty of job offers at the new sawmill just 2 kilometers away. Kasia could not hide her shock and dismay at my inquiry. “I have a child!” she exclaimed. “I have two!” I exclaimed back. Nobody was judging. Nobody was offended. It was just a difference in our vision of our own lives. Over the next couple of weeks and over a few more conversations, Kasia decided to try to get a job at the sawmill. Her child was 8 years old then, and they lived meters from the school doors. And guess what. She got that job. That first Christmas Kasia had as an employed person was as she put it herself, “the best they’d ever had”. She was pleased to have the job, the possibility of paid overtime on Saturdays if she wanted, and a pleasant holiday season without the usual financial stress from years past.

Then Kasia got pregnant with their very much wanted second child. I met her a few times in front of the shop, her pregnant belly standing in stark contrast to the cigarette she had in her hand. My look must have spoken volumes because she later said to my husband, “What? I quit drinking at least.” Kasia had her baby about a year ago. I still meet her in front of the shop, baby in one hand, baby bottle of Kubus and cigarette in the other hand. Kasia is not going back to work. She’s decided that it doesn’t pay. Even though she would not lose her 500+ benefit. Even though the sawmill offered her a part-time job to start back. Even though her mother offered to babysit those 4-5 hours a day while she’s at work and cook dinner for the family. Even though she’d get a bit more than 1000 PLN a month from her employer, another 500 from the 500+ program, and secure her job position if she decided to return to full-time. It’s just not worth it to her. I’ve read a recent report that says there is absolutely no evidence that people are dropping out of the workforce due to the 500+ benefit. I find that hard to believe as most of us know at least one person and in my case several people who have done just that.

It is no surprise that money we get for nothing has a higher value than money we get for doing something, for example working - especially for someone earning minimum wage, having small children, and needing to travel to and from work each day. Transportation, good winter attire, childcare – it can cost you a significant part of your salary just to earn that salary. That wasn’t the case for Kasia, but yet she still decided not to go back to work. I returned to work relatively quickly after having each child. I was in fear of losing my contracts. There was a time when I did not even earn my ZUS payment (Social Security), not to mention my transportation costs or the babysitter, but I had to do it in hopes of a better future.

Continuing my unscientific research, I have been chatting with the local shop owner. Our village has a population of about 500 people. We have a primary school, a public library, a doctor’s office, a fire station, a chapel, and one shop. Our shop has got the basics, and as you can imagine, the shop is more expensive than the discount shops in the next town over. I don’t really think twice about the cost when I’ve got a kid on the toilet, and I’m running to Mr. Mariusz to buy toilet paper. (It happens more often than I’d like to admit.) The next town is only 7 kilometers away, but without a car, that’s too far for some locals to do their shopping. I inquired if Mr. Mariusz had noticed any changes in local shopping behavior since the 500+ payments started a few months ago. He has noticed some changes. He said some people came in and settled their credits (the infamous zeszyt) immediately, knowing that Mr. Mariusz knows that they got their money. Some people stocked up on the basics, perhaps enjoying the feeling of a fully-stocked kitchen cupboard for the first time in a long time. One lady has done a reverse-zeszyt by giving Mr. Mariusz all the 500 and deducting her shopping from there each time. She allows her husband 100 of the money on the zeszyt for his beer and cigarettes, and not a grosz more. It appears that women are in charge of budgeting that money. Mr. Mariusz has also reported that sales of beer and cigarettes has gone up significantly. He stopped selling hard alcohol some years ago as some of his customers were quickly drinking themselves in unconsciousness outside the shop doors.

What have I noticed? At the start, new trampolines and bikes appeared in our village. Cartons of cigarettes replaced packs or cigarettes. In some cases, packs of cigarette have replaced homemade cigarettes. This year there were not scenes in the front of the shop about a father drinking all the public benefit the kids got for school shoes. I’m not saying that money was not drunk, but there was an additional source of income to buy shoes from. We’ll find out this winter if we have similar scenes of selling the public benefit coal for cash and then stealing wood from other neighbors as it was last year.

Talking to my neighbors and friends in the village, many of them say they voted solely for that 500+ program. They have the knowledge that it most certainly is detrimental to the economy and they don’t care. One family has got one little kid at home and two teens in the orphanage. Since the 500+, they have been trying to get their kids back from the orphanage. They didn’t lose them because they were poor, but because their behavior prevented the kids from going to school. The kids don’t want to come back, not even so the parents can get the 500+ benefit for them. At the orphanage they have clothes, food, school books, a computer room, and basic cell phones. Smart kids.

What about people like me? The ministers were happily talking about people like me who could now afford extra music or language lessons for their children, invest in their kids education. I even saw a car today with a bumper sticker that said “Financed by 500+”. I am now aware that in the new year I will most likely be in the minus and not the plus with this plan. No cóż. Co robić?

Super Mom and the Best Bubble Mix Ever!

Super Mom I am not. Despite what my shirt says. That shirt was a gift anyhow. From a Super Mom. She is such a Super Mom that when my daughter had a Super Hero birthday party, my Super Mom friend made us all Super Hero t-shirts and Super Hero capes. Thanks Super Mom.

It's not my intention to make Kielbasa Stories the glorification of myself as a mother. I'm not really into the Mommy Blogger thing, although "Mommy" is one of the titles I proudly hold. The Mommiest of my moments? I do make my kids' birthday cakes and share them here, but not because I'm Super Mom. It's because I'm not. My kids won't eat store-bought birthday cakes, and I'm so proud of myself for not fecking the whole thing up and that it is actually edible.I am in such disbelief that I have to share them here to immortalize them for all eternity. As simple as that. 

Oh, and this week I made pierogi, and I took a picture, and I shared it on two forms of social media, so there!

Having said all that, I'm about to do the most Super Mommiest thing I have ever done. I am going to share with you my super secret recipe for seriously the Best Bubble Mix Ever! And I mean it. That's not click bait. I have created with my own hands the most amazing Bubble Mix with just a few simple ingredients.

I started from buying industrial size Bubble Mix from Tesco for a birthday party we were planning. It cost an arm and a leg, smelled like old socks, and my kids promptly spilled the whole thing in the backyard. Furious and not wanting to lose my temper, I took that now empty bottle and checked the ingredients. As you may know Bubble Mix is basically soapy water, well soapy water and some glycerin. So I bought a bottle of glycerin and mixed it with water and some dish washing liquid. Voila, bubbles. Well, kind of. The bubbles weren't very bubbly. They didn't want to come off the wand. When they did, they popped quite quickly. 

Hmmm, back to the ingredients list. I didn't recognize the rest of the ingredients I must admit. Most of them seemed to be responsible for the old sock smell as far as Google could tell me. Then I Googled one last ingredient, and was surprised that Google showed me bottle after bottle of Durex Play. Yep, the missing link in my bubble mix is the main ingredient in Durex Play. Durex Play is not cheap, but a bottle that costs 28 zl in Poland is enough for about 4 liters or more of bubble mix. However, when buying three bottles at the pharmacy, it isn't the best of ideas to tell the pharmacist that they are for your kid's birthday party. Live and learn.

So here it is...

The Best Bubble Mix Ever

A bottle or jar of water

3 healthy squirts of a good quality dish washing liquid

A small bottle of glycerin 

4-5 healthy squirts of Durex Play 2 in 1

Depending on your bottle and your definition of healthy squirts, your mix might be too concentrated. No worries. When you pour some out for the kids, just dilute it with a bit of water.

What makes this recipe the Best Bubble Mix Ever? Well, the mix is extremely productive. With one dip of the wand, you can make 10 bubbles. The bubbles come off the wand easily, they are bouncy, and they last a long time. Plus it doesn't smell like old socks. 

 Happy bubbling!

PS In case anyone is in doubt that my kids are totally Polish, please note my daughter's footwear ;)

Orchard Festival

As it turns out we missed the Harvest Festival (Dożynki) last week because we were visiting a friend. We go to Dożynki every year, so we could stand to skip it this year. What we could not skip was a visit to Bolesławiec on the way to our friends. We have just about everything you can buy from the Polish pottery Mecca, but I did find a few things our collection was missing.

They have a whole basket, if anyone is interested.

We started our Orchard Festival Sunday with a bike ride. I've just returned to cycling after years, so the plan is to build up my distance each week. Because we go on bike paths through the forest, we get a whole body workout - or at least that's how it feels this morning. I could definitely see the signs of autumn on our ride. The morning breeze was crisp, and some leaves have already fallen. 

After that we headed off by car to the festival. We started from a musical performance by the local school kids. Na Straganie is really funny when each vegetable is acted out by another kid.

Then we hit the stands to buy some apples and grab something to eat. There were so many people buying fruit I couldn't even get a picture.

Autumn is everywhere even at home.

I love autumn in Poland so be prepared for more unnecessary and repetitive autumn posts.

No funerals, no vomit hands

We got a chance to spend the weekend together. No funerals.

Our weekend always starts the same with a drive from the city to the village. Occasionally we spot a deer or fox or wild pig on the way, but this weekend we spotted something much less rare - the overturned bike. When we spot a bike overturned on a dark and winding road, we of course stop to look for its owner. That's our do-goodery policy. This time it really looked like someone might have been hit by a car based on the position of the bike. Fortunately it turned out to be another case of falling drunk into a ditch. Based on previous experience with vomit hands, we decided not to make physical contact with that fellow. We called in backup from the nearby shop - some strong, young men who recognized our description of the poor fellow. He was dragged out of the ditch and returned home safely. It happens so often that I don't much feel like patting myself on the back anymore.

Saturday we went to a new, little juice bar called Malinea where we drank yummy fruit shakes and received a little present of fruit preserves. The kids had waffles with whipped cream - homemade whipped cream, not from the spray can.

I also made a practice cake for Lizzie's birthday party. She asked for a SpongeBob cake, and I wasn't sure if I could make something that resembled SpongeBob. This is my first attempt. Hopefully, it'll come out a little better on party day.

Here's my first attempt at rainbow gellies. Rosie's birthday has passed, but her party is next weekend. We've got one little Celiac guest, and I wanted to make something special just for her to eat. I hope she likes gellies.

The rest of the weekend I spent doing a boring translation about chemicals. I've still got 5 pages to go. It's so hard to sit at the computer when the sun is shining. I think I'll eat the last of the gellies.

Not what I was expecting

We spent last Easter in the US with my family. Rosie got her birthday cake on board the plane along with a card signed by the whole crew. She promptly vomited it all up, but the thought was very nice. We got to see lots of our friends, even more family, and our girls had a real "American-style" Easter egg hunt with lots of eggs and more importantly lots of other kids. I got to see my father for the last time, although I had no idea it would be the last time. I will remember that trip forever as one of the best in my life. I cannot believe how much has changed in the last year.

Unfortunately, this year we started from a funeral. The cemetery is in a quiet, wooded location. It's also just down the cobblestone road from the beautiful wooden church where my parents-in-law got married, and once at Christmas Eve mass when I thought I saw the Unibomber.
That's a story for another day.

We also visited some family members with their version of cobblestone as well.

modern cobblestone

Rosie turned 7 and celebrated with her Easter-themed birthday cake made by Mom ;)

I chickened out and bought little Mazurki.

Pickled eggs in waiting

Babki baked to perfection ;)

Pisanki decorated to perfection ;)

The Easter bunny didn't forget our girls.

It was bit wet out, but no snow so yay!

Pickled egg perfection :)

Honey-baked ham

And all the fixings

Rosie got this at the local Christmas ball factory.

Today we returned to work. The girls will go back to school tomorrow. Back to normal I guess, but a new normal, a normal I wasn't quite expecting.

Monday morning na wsi

I have long envied men the penis. It is true. Oh not for the reasons you might suppose. As a member of the clan of the small bladder, I have envied men their external equipment for the sheer convenience of emptying the bladder easily and freely in nature. As my envy runs strong and deep, I certainly do not want to be confronted with my lack of convenient outdoor peeing ability by watching someone exercise their outdoor peeing ability...outside my kitchen window, at 8:00 a.m. as I make my morning coffee, penis-possessing pee-er facing towards the window, of course, not away.

You would think that brooding Amerykanka before her coffee standing at the window would be enough to deter the morning pees (yes, plural). But you would be wrong.

The pee-ers were part of a crew sent out to check our new sewer line. When I say "our" I mean my village - we've finally been connected to the main sewer line. And when I say "we" I mean basically nobody. Nobody on our street hooked up. We all have septic tanks, some of us even have fancy, smancy ecological septic systems. 

So when the crew had finished their public urination, smoking, and basic standing around, I saw that they came into our yard and were trying to open our septic system. I immediately opened the window to ask "Dude, whatchyadoin?" to which I got an explanation of how they were checking the new sewer pipes and so on. I replied that we were not connected to the sewer system to which the man replied that I must be mistaken as I have a manhole cover in my garden. This goes on for awhile until they are finally satisfied that that stinky containers in my front garden are actually part of our ecological septic system and not the municipal sewer system.

At this point I decided I could ask for a prośba, a little favor. Explaining that I fully understand their lack of dignified hygienic conditions and expressing my envy at their ability to conveniently empty their bladders, I requested that in the future they turn away from the windows while urinating as to maintain their privacy and my innocence :) They immediately apologized, promising to change their ways and came up with a favor themselves - 5 coffees and a cup of tea.

And that is how I came to be drinking coffee in my driveway at 8:30 this morning with 6 municipal sewer inspectors. That's how we start a typical day here in my village.

P.S. I decided to forgive them the public urinatuion as they did apologize. I even give them extra points for recognizing Lizzie is a girl. She made it hard dressed in camouflage and a hoodie. Okay, with a small minus for asking for explicit details of my heating bills and square meters of my house. They even inquired as to the presence of a dog and/or husband at home. I did not divulge presence or absence of dog or husband, but instead told them that I have a gun. That was a pretty good place to end our conversation. 

The aftermath-

Żegnaj lato. Witaj szkoło!

We bid summer farewell as we do each year with an end-of-the-summer BBQ with friends. The friends on the guest list change from year to year, but the venue stays the same – our barn. We talked about how we spent the summer and our plans for the upcoming school year. Then we played with their drone and went to a party at the village świetlica to eat some cake and dance to some Coco Jumbo.
Although we’re excited to start another school year (Lizzie is in 3rd grade and Rosie starts 1st grade), we are sad to say goodbye to summer. It seemed shorter this year. I guess my age is showing.
Farewell rainbows after a summer rain.

Goodbye grain in the field.


So long yard work and rhubarb with sugar.


See you later fun-in-the-sun.

Bye-bye burgers from the grill

No more  hot-air-balloon surprises on the drive home.

An end to summer festivals.

The last of the fresh blueberry muffins.

The final summer BBQ’s with friends.








Hello new school year. It’s going to be a great one!