So you wanna have a baby in Poland, Part 2 -No to chcesz rodzić dziecko w Polsce, Część 2

I suppose in Part 2 of “So you wanna have a baby”, after we have secured funds, selected the hospital and have the doctor all settled, we can start with the getting pregnant part.

That means you should have sex, a lot of sex. Or not.

I personally used the calendar method in order to get pregnant. I know that many folks use that method in order to NOT get pregnant (which in my opinion is too risky), but it worked a charm for us in actually getting pregnant. But we still continued with the sex, you know, musialyśmy poprawić. (make corrections)

Too bad my doctor kept getting in the way. (not literally)

Firstly, after our miscarriage my doctor explained that these things happen and that it probably means nothing for our future fertility. He expressed his sympathy, declared me healthy and then hit us with his recommendations.

His suggestions after a miscarriage:

You should wait. Wait. And wait some more. From 6 months up to a year. (No explanation as to why. Just because.)

You should get full genetic testing of yourself and spouse. (In my opinion, after one early miscarriage, this kind of testing is pre-mature.)

In addition to genetic testing, checking the ovaries and fallopian tubes for defects was deemed necessary. (Quite invasive for a person with one, early miscarriage.)

I declined all his suggestions explaining that I’m no spring chicken and didn’t want to wait. I told the doctor we’d start trying again in a couple of months. I explained that if we had problems again, I would consider checking into the problem further. At that point, his suggestions became urgings, strong, almost angry urgings and that’s when I understood that my doctor was sliding down the slippery slope, the patient/customer -customer/patient slope. His business practices were interfering with my health care. We firmly declined additional procedures and went on our way.

After a few months, (yay!), we got pregnant. No drug store tests were needed for me. I was sure. We scheduled a visit with my doctor and we were rolling. That’s when I found out the whole pregnant-lady, doctor’s-office procedure.

At my doctor, it went like this:

Come to the doctor a little bit early for blood and urine tests. It was unbelievably convenient to have a lab at the doctor’s office. Then go to another doctor for a USG, checking yourself if anybody is in there and who’s next. Incredibly inconvenient for people who don’t speak Polish very well. After the USG, wait with all the other pregnant ladies for the doctor to call you for your visit. (If you are further along, you should add a visit to the basement to the KTG before returning to the waiting room)

The doctor’s visits which occur about once a month for the entire pregnancy, last anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes. Then you need to pay the doctor (hand to hand) and then pay the nurse for the blood and urine tests, the USG and also the KTG if you had one. I was unaware that the USG was not included in the price and did not start paying until I was about 7 months pregnant. Tight accounting policies ;)

Seems like a fiasco for a pregnant lady- knocking on doors, up and down stairs, waiting, waiting and more waiting. It wasn’t that bad, really, except the time they kept me waiting 3 hours for my KTG. The system is designed so the leading doctor spends the least amount of time with each patient as possible while still giving the patient a complete work up. It’s a business decision.

Everything was going fine. I was reading up about things like breast pumps and baby whispering. I tried to learn all pregnancy, birth and baby vocabulary in Polish. Really, things were great, in my opinion, until about the 5th month when my doctor asked me when I was planning to go on sick leave (L4). My eyes got big and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that nothing was wrong. I asked in panic what was wrong with the baby, with me. I thought that for sure I had misunderstand him or just missed something important that he had said in Polish. He said that nothing was wrong. So why the sick leave, I inquired. That’s when my doctor explained that it was customary for pregnant women in Poland to take sick leave for the second half of their pregnancies.* My father would offer that as proof that Poland must be a very rich country (my father has many such claims about Poland after 2 short visits). I breathed a sigh of relief and declined the L4, safe in the thought that if I needed it later, it would be available to me. Fortunately, I didn’t need it.

I felt great throughout my pregnancy and remained active. It was a really great time in my life - the anticipation of becoming a mother, of meeting my child. I gained a bit of weight which is par for the course and laughed when at +10 kilos at month 7, my doctor told me to slow down. Would a doctor in America say something like that? I’m not so sure.

*In order to avoid any nasty comments ;) – I am aware that not all Polish ladies take sick leave when they are pregnant. I am aware that some ladies need to take sick leave when they are pregnant. Having said that, I have seen many women take sick leave when they were pregnant who fully admit to not actually needing it but rather saying that they “deserve it”. I am not judging, just informing.

PS Pregnant women do not have to go to a private doctor during pregnancy. For fun, I decided to inquire at my family doctor’s office about a “pregnancy'” visit. I was given an appointment about 5 months in the future. I explained again to the receptionist that I was currently pregnant and needed an appointment now. Her reply, “Well, you should have thought about that before.” “What? Like before I was pregnant?” I asked. “Yes,” she said, “A lot of women make several appointments while trying to get pregnant and then cancel them when they are not needed.” Cool, huh?

Part 1

Przypuszczam, że w części 2 "No to chcesz rodzić dziecko", po tym jak już mamy zabezpieczone środki, wybraliśmy szpital i mamy załatwionego lekarza , możemy rozpocząć tę część, kiedy zachodzi się w ciążę.

Oznacza to, że należy uprawiać seks, dużo seksu. Lub nie.

Ja osobiście stosowałam metodę kalendarzową, w celu zajścia w ciążę. Wiem, że wielu ludzi stosuję tę metodę, żeby NIE zajść w ciążę (co moim zdaniem jest zbyt ryzykowne), ale udało się błyskawicznie zajść. Ale ciągle jeszcze uprawialiśmy seks, no wiecie, musieliśmy poprawić.

Szkoda, że ​​mój lekarz ciągle się wtrącał. (nie dosłownie)

Po pierwsze, po naszym poronieniu lekarz wyjaśnił, że takie rzeczy się zdarzają i że prawdopodobnie to nic nie znaczy dla naszej przyszłej płodności. Wyraził współczucie, uznał, że jestem zdrowa, a następnie walnął swoimi zaleceniami.

Jego sugestie po poronieniu:

Należy poczekać. Poczekaj. I poczekaj jeszcze trochę. Od 6 miesięcy do roku. (Brak wyjaśnienia dlaczego. Po prostu, bo tak).

Powinniście wykonać pełne badania genetyczne dla siebie i małżonka. (Moim zdaniem, po jednym wczesnym poronieniu, tego rodzaju badania są przedwczesne.)

Oprócz testów genetycznych, sprawdzenie jajników i jajowodów, żeby wykryć potencjalne wady wydawało się również niezbędne. (Dość inwazyjne badanie dla osoby z jednym, wczesnym poronieniem.)

Odrzuciłam wszystkie jego sugestie i wyjaśniłam, że nie jestem już młódką i nie chcę czekać. Powiedziałam lekarzowi, że zaczniemy próbować ponownie za kilka miesięcy. I wyjaśniłam, że jeśli znowu będziemy mieć problemy, to wtedy zbadamy sprawę gruntownie. W tym momencie jego sugestie stały się naciskami, mocnymi niemalże wściekłymi naciskami i wtedy zrozumiałam, że mój lekarz zaczął zjeżdżać po równi pochyłej, po tym stoku - pacjent / klient - klient / pacjent. Jego praktyki biznesowe były ingerencją w moja opiekę zdrowotną. Zdecydowanie odrzuciliśmy możliwość dalszych dodatkowych procedur i poszliśmy w swoją stronę.

Po kilku miesiącach, (yay!), byliśmy w ciąży. Nie potrzebowałam żadnych testów z apteki. Byłam pewna. Zaplanowaliśmy wizytę u mojego lekarza i zaczęło się. Wtedy poznałam te wszystkie procedury pomiędzy kobietą w ciąży a gabinetem lekarskim.

U lekarza, poszło tak:

Przyjdź do lekarza trochę wcześniej na badania krwi i moczu. To było niesamowite udogodnienie - laboratorium w gabinecie lekarskim. Następnie udaj się do innego lekarza na USG, sama sprawdzając czy ktoś tam jest i kto jest następny. Niezwykle uciążliwe dla ludzi, którzy nie znają dobrze polskiego. Po USG, czekaj ze wszystkimi innymi paniami w ciąży do lekarza, aż wywoła ciebie. (Jeśli jesteś w bardziej zaawansowanej ciąży, należy dodać wizytę w piwnicy na KTG przed powrotem do poczekalni)

Wizyty lekarskie, które mają miejsce raz w miesiącu przez cały okres ciąży, trwają od 5 do 15 minut. Następnie trzeba zapłacić lekarzowi (z ręki do ręki), a następnie zapłacić pielęgniarce za badania krwi i moczu, USG i również KTG gdybyś miała takowe. Nie wiedziałem, że USG nie było wliczone w cenę i nie zaczęłam płacić aż do około 7 miesiąca ciąży. Surowa polityka rachunkowości;)

Wygląda to jak totalna porażką dla kobiety w ciąży, żeby tak pukać do drzwi, łazić po schodach w górę i w dół, czekać, czekać i jeszcze czekać. Nie było tak źle, naprawdę, z wyjątkiem tego razu, kiedy przytrzymali mnie 3 godziny do KTG. System jest zaprojektowany tak, żeby lekarz prowadzący spędzał jak najmniej czasu z każdą pacjentką przy jednoczesnym kompleksowym badaniu pacjentki z góry na dół. Jest to decyzja biznesowa.

Wszystko było w porządku. Czytałam nawet o takich rzeczach jak pompy do odciągania mleka z piersi i o zaklinaniu niemowlaka. Próbowałam nauczyć się całego słownictwa dotyczącego ciąży, porodu i dziecka w języku polskim. Naprawdę, wszystko układało się wspaniale, moim zdaniem, do około 5 miesiąca, kiedy mój lekarz zapytał mnie, kiedy mam zamiar iść na zwolnienie lekarskie (L4). Moje oczy zrobiły się duże i spytałam go, czy coś się stało. Odpowiedział, że nic się nie stało. Zapytałam w panice, co się stało z dzieckiem, ze mną. Myślałam, że na pewno nie zrozumiałam go albo coś ważnego umknęło mi gdy on mówił po polsku. Powiedział, że nic się nie stało. Więc dlaczego chorobowe, zapytałam. Wtedy mój lekarz wyjaśnił, że jest w zwyczaju, żeby kobiety w ciąży w Polsce brały zwolnienia chorobowe w drugiej połowie ciąży.* Mój ojciec powiedziałby, że to dowód, iż Polska musi być bardzo bogatym krajem (mój ojciec ma wiele takich uwag o Polsce po 2 krótkich wizytach). Odetchnęłam z ulgą i odmówiłam przyjęcia L4, bezpieczna w myślach, że jeśli będę go później potrzebować, to będzie dla mnie dostępne. Na szczęście, nie potrzebowałam.

Czułam się wspaniale przez całą ciążę i pozostawałam aktywna. To był naprawdę wspaniały czas w moim życiu – oczekiwanie na stanie się matką, na spotkanie mojego dziecka. Przybrałam trochę na wadze, co jest na porządku dziennym i śmiałam się, gdy po przybraniu 10 kg w 7 miesiącu, mój lekarz powiedział mi, żeby zwolnić. Czy lekarz w Ameryce powiedziałby coś takiego? Nie jestem tego taka pewna.

* W celu uniknięcia nieprzyjemnych komentarzy;) - Mam świadomość, że nie wszystkich polskie kobiety idą na zwolnienie, gdy są w ciąży. Zdaję sobie sprawę, że niektóre panie muszą iść na zwolnienie, gdy są w ciąży. Mimo tego, widziałam wiele kobiet na zwolnieniu, gdy były w ciąży, które w pełni przyznawały, że tak naprawdę nie potrzebowały tego, ale raczej mówiły, że "na to zasługują". Nie osądzam, po prostu informuję.

PS Kobiety w ciąży nie muszą iść do prywatnego lekarza w czasie ciąży. Dla zabawy, postanowiłam dowiedzieć się w gabinecie mojego lekarza rodzinnego o wizytę w ciąży. Dostałam termin za około 5 miesięcy w przyszłości. Wyjaśniłam ponownie recepcjonistce, że jestem w ciąży teraz i potrzebuję wizytę teraz. Jej odpowiedź: "Cóż, trzeba było pomyśleć o tym wcześniej." "Co? Jeszcze zanim byłam w ciąży? " zapytałam. "Tak", powiedziała: "Wiele kobiet umawia się na kilka spotkań, podczas gdy próbuje zajść w ciążę, a następnie odwołuje je, kiedy nie są potrzebne."

Fajnie, co?

Część 1

So you wanna have a baby in Poland…

So, you wanna have a baby in Poland.

You should start from choosing your hospital.

After you have chosen your hospital, you should choose an OB/GYN associated with that hospital. Your OB/GYN will perform some tests, give you some vitamins and wish you luck in getting pregnant. Your OB/GYN will not actually come to the hospital for your child’s birth, but at least you can allude yourself that the thousands of zloty you have paid your OB/GYN will make him/her feel morally obliged in some way.

Actually, I’m wrong. You shouldn’t start from the hospital or the OB/GYN. You should start from checking your bank account for sufficient funds.

I suppose that is a good place to start anywhere, not only in Poland.

In my case (funds secured), I chose the “baby” hospital where I had unfortunately spent some time in the scary “interna” section a few years back. It only made sense to then choose the boss of the hospital, the Ordinator (sounds cool, like The Terminator), as my private doctor. I made a pre-pregnancy visit and we were rolling.

We, however, suffered a false start which landed me in the hospital. I knew the situation didn’t look good but was still taken aback when the sonogram technician informed me that “You, ma’am, are no longer pregnant”. Too bad for me that the bad news was delivered just as another patient opened the door, asking “Można?”. I quickly covered my bloody legs in shame. I didn’t even have a moment to myself to think about what I had just been told. I had to hurry up as a line was forming. I quickly dressed as I had undressed, blood and all, in front of 2 technicians while patients peeked their heads in to check if it was their turn yet. They have the “rodzić po ludzku” campaign, maybe they should have “miscarry po ludzku” too.

I was admitted, the next day given the “standard procedure” and sent home on the 3rd day. My papers indicated I had occupied a bed for 3 days which is important because the hospital doesn’t get paid for stays under 3 days. 5 days is better.

I was placed in a room with 5 other women, 4 of whom were recovering from hysterectomies and one other who was waiting for hers. In case you have never been hospitalized in Poland, you should know that patients love to talk about their illnesses and operations, the more gruesome the better. The ladies in the room were a bit annoyed that I wasn’t holding up my end of the conversation and by the second hour in that room, I went to the nurses station and asked to be moved to another room.

My doctor immediately agreed (benefit of going to his private practice). He had not wanted to place me anywhere near the baby ward and he thought I wouldn’t understand what the ladies were jabbering on about. I was placed in a double room with a university student who was waiting to get a cyst removed from her leg (and yes, she showed me the cyst). Not very gynecological in my opinion, but she seemed happy even after they had re-scheduled her operation for the third time. She was missing her exam session at uni. I think that was the point. What an wasteful way to get out of your exams.

Anyhow, I was not allowed to eat or drink prior to my procedure which was not a problem considering how bad hospital food is. The next day, I was led to the procedure room by a very nice doctor who later was the doctor at my first birth. I was surprised to see 5 people in the room besides myself. That seemed like a lot for something they assured me was routine. The anesthesiologist began to fill out the forms with me. Name, address, date of birth, PESEL…All was well until - “Czy pani jest na czczo?”

I had never heard na czczo before and couldn’t even ask the doctor what it meant. I told him in Polish that I didn’t understand and asked him to ask me another way. He asked, “Czy pani jest na czczo?” Hmm, that didn’t seem to be another way but just the same way as before. I repeated that I didn’t understand and could he ask me in another way (czyli innaczej). He asked me louder. Then, he asked me slower. After that he asked me louder and slower. I still replied that I didn’t understand. He turned to the other doctor and asked if I had bumped my head (really). That I did understand and I reminded him that I’m not Polish. C’mon, duh, he filled in my very-not-Polish name on the form. Anyhow, the other doctor, Dr. Nice, asked me if I had had anything to eat or drink (czyli na czczo) to which I replied no, and we were rolling.

I hopped on the table and a man sat down in front of me and with no greeting (excuse me) spread my legs. I immediately sat up and asked who he was and what he was doing. (He thought I had bumped my head as well). He was still looking at me with no explanation when I asked by the way who the 5 people in the room were and what they were needed for. With a heavy sigh, he explained that Dr. Na Czczo was going to administer the anesthesia, Dr. Nice was to assist as were the two nurses who were opening a sterile kit which included, gulp, a saw (I am not kidding). I nodded and asked “A pan?” to which I got an exasperated reply, “I am the doctor!” I stuck out my hand as if to introduce myself and said “Ja jestem pacjentką, najważniejsza w tym pokoju”. He was not impressed.

Then Dr. Zblazowany asked me to sit back so Dr. Na Czczo could begin knocking me out. As the mask went on, Dr Na Czczo (whose intelligence was already in question) asked me (as is practice in administering gas) who the first king of Poland was. I answered “jakiś Bolesław ale pierwszy prezydent USA był Waszynton”. Next, he asked me to count backwards from 50. I told him that I could count back from 10, 5 times and he said to begin. I was out before cztery. I suppose they were relieved.

I woke up some time later in my room. Dr. Nice told me that “smacznie pani spała” and that I could go home the next day. I went to the shower room to get washed up. In the shower room, I met another lady who was intently observing me (which is BTW not cool in any shower/stranger situation but especially not cool in a hospital).

“Well,” she said as I struggled to somehow maintain my privacy, “what’re you in for?'”

“I was pregnant,” I replied.

She cackled, “Well with all that blood, I guess you aren’t anymore”.

Polish hospitals, gotta love ‘em.

I returned to my room where I set in to watch the soaps with roommate and waited till the next day to go home.

Women of Wroclaw, rejoice…

…for you have joined the civilized world.

Anesthesia during childbirth is now available to the women of Wroclaw.

And this time, they really mean it.

Read more here.

Such a headline could be read any given month over the last 5 years in Wroclaw (and elsewhere). The only problem with such an announcement is that until now access to anesthesia for birthing moms was purely hypothetical. The reason? Well, as the Polish saying goes - if you don’t know what it’s about, it’s about the money.

I am not suggesting that moms had to pay for anesthesia. That would have been too easy. Anesthesia, other than a shot of Dolargan* or in my case Vitamin B, was not available because there was no one to administer it…unless you needed (or “needed”) a c-section. Then you were good to go.

Hospitals are refunded a set amount of money for each procedure performed. That includes vaginal births and c-sections, respectively, no matter what resources are actually used in said birth. This amount, on average, is enough to cover the staff, equipment, drugs, etc. needed for each birth or c-section. Hospitals are strongly motivated then to use as few resources as possible with each birth. This system, in fact, would work just fine if not for the lack of anesthesiologists. Even if the hospital allowed patients to pay for the anesthesia, it is not possible to pay for the anesthesiologist.

So, it sounds like I am complaining. Boo-hoo, poor American mom gives birth in this 3rd world country. It was soooo painful and and they didn’t help me at all.

Not true. Ok, it was painful, but they did try to help me…somewhat. Didn’t I mention the Vitamin B shot?

I have given birth in Poland. Twice. Without anesthesia of any kind. I simply didn’t need it which was convenient because they weren’t offering it. Birth is painful. It is true. It is very painful even, but what was more distressing for me than the pain was my complete and total lack of options. You have to give birth i już. Koniec. Kropka.

And so I did. Misiu says that I did an excellent job as well. Don’t you know that I am Super Mom? I even have a t-shirt that says so.

Now if only Wroclaw could do something with its roads.

:)

*Demorol.