The Easter Bunny

We don't celebrate Easter like everyone else. There's no Stations of the Cross for us or blessing our basket of food on Good Saturday or even Resurrection Mass on Easter Sunday. But there is time spent together, good food, and the Easter bunny.

It's the whole Santa Claus dilemma all over again, right? Nope, not here. Somehow my children completely believe that Saint Nicholas delivers presents to children all over the world on Christmas Eve, but think the idea of a "real" Easter bunny hiding treats in the yard is just plain ridiculous.

It was pretty difficult to get to the store to buy those treats without them, but we did it. As we walked in the store, Misiu told me that our neighbor from the village had called and asked us to buy her a rabbit. She couldn't find one in the village. The lady passing out flyers had just given me a coupon for the pet store, so I headed in that direction. "To eat," Misiu said. "A rabbit to eat." Oh.

Spalone Suchary

I cannot tell jokes. Not even suchary*. I “burn” every joke even the lame ones. So I guess that makes my jokes spalone suchary, hee, hee burned toast.
C’mon, I do my best but I’m no Karol Strasburger.
I usually remember the punch lines though. However, I remember only the punch line and then proceed to burn the joke.
Do you know the jokes to these punch lines?

Wot morda (вот морда)

Zmuś się

Once and only once was I able to pull off a joke telling hat trick. It was at a party. I made up the joke myself. The butt of the joke was our supervisor. Everyone laughed. It was my first and last successful joke.
Here’s the joke told right before my one, perfect joke.

A lady goes to the doctor with a frog on her head. The doctor asks what’s wrong. The frog replies, “I’ve got something stuck to my ass.”

OK, total suchar. I know.
Here’s my joke.

Our supervisor goes to the doctor with a frog on his head. The doctor asks what’s wrong.

Long pause. The crowd leans in with anticipation. My perfect comedic timing is working its magic.
My workmates shout, “What did the frog say?!”

I don’t know, but our supervisor said, “I’m not paying”.

And I bask in the glory of the perfectly executed joke. (Our supervisor was a notorious cheapskate).
Ah, never to be repeated again.
*Suchary or sucharki are actually hard toast/biscuits, but in slang a suchar is a totally lame joke. Yeah, I’m down with the kids.