Monday, March 3, 2014

Ellen’s Oscar Samojebka

There are a few things I like about not living in the US. I do not have to listen to country music which I really do not like. I come from a rural area where every radio station is country and practically every bar and restaurant  has their music set to default country. What a relief. OK, I have to listen to Stachursky more than I’d like, but that is a price I am willing to pay. To ja - typ niepokorny, Nikt nie wie, co we mnie tkwi, Ten sam, choć niepodobny, Kochanie, proszę, wybacz mi.
Another wonderful thing about not living in the US is that I don’t have to know what’s going on in the US. Watched the latest episode of House of Cards? Nope. I’ve never even seen it. I did recently check out HBO’s Girls as someone I know told me that I reminded him of a character on Girls. They are all 20-something New Yorkers, so I highly doubted that and asked which one. He said, “the fat, annoying one.” It’s just like a big hug. I do know important stuff like who the president is and where we may or may not start bombing, but other than that I am out on the US current events. By the way, if Russia and Germany go to war over Ukraine/Crimea, look out. Historically we know where they like to shoot it up. I’m outta here.
It is a wonderful feeling to not have to know anything about any kind of sporting event taking place in America. The Super Bowl? I know that there was one but I have no idea who won. Hell, I don’t even know who played. Go Pirates! Go Eagles! Go Knicks! I don’t even know which sport I am talking about it. It’s an awesome feeling.
The Oscars - I haven’t seen a single Oscar-nominated film this year. Oh, I take that back. I have seen a pirated Gravity leaked by one of the Academy Awards voters. And you know what? I knew what was going to happen. SPOILER ALERT I knew who was not going to make it. I knew that she was dreaming that one part. I knew she was connected to Earth and not the Chinese space station. I knew that she was not going to drown after crashing into the water. I just knew it. However, if Gravity had been a Polish film, Sandra Bullock would have fought off death several times in her fight to get back to the planet Earth only to drown in her own pod. The last scene in the Polish Gravity would be her dead eyes gazing at the unattainable sky above her while her lifeless body sloshed around inside the pod – a poignant but not happy ending.

So all I know about the Oscars is what I see here in this now famous Oscar selfie (with one small addition). I cannot even name all the faces (with one small exception), let alone what film they were in. Maybe ignorance is bliss. Anyhow on the bright side, the next time I fly long-haul, all the movies will be new to me.


Stardust said...

Ups I live in US for last 30 years I have no clue what Super Bowl is unless is one of the bowls in my kitchen, maybe the biggest one I use for salad when the whole family gets together. Sounds super to me:)))
I'm clueless about any tv shows except Daily Show, Steven Colbert and Real Time with Bill Maher.
That's all I watch and is pretty enough to me. Have never seen one commercial either don't plan to see one in a next 30 years.
At least I don't have cross hungging over my head everywere I go:))) I bet my situation is better:P

Anonymous said...

This is exactly what I like about not living in Poland. But because of your blog I cannot now unsee Hej Slowianki, or whatever. Shame on you:)


Chris said...

But Star, you are a sophisticated New Yorker. I'm a country bumpkin from a small town where football is religion. True, crosses are all around me and the nun at school greets me daily with a "God Bless", but this is a post with a few reasons why I am happy to not live in the States, not why I am happy or not happy) to live in Poland. That would be the bread. I love the bread.

Peter - Yes, it cannot be unseen. There should have been a warning attached - Attention boobies ahead or something like that.

Stardust said...

I understand your love for Polish bread, coming from small town you probably never had a chance to eat real bread:) NYC even 30 years ago had bakeries where you could buy great bread. First I lived in Italian neighbourhood and they had good bread. Then I moved, but 2 blocks away was Jewish bakery with excellent rye bread. Never missed Polish bread:)) Never missed Polish anything bc there is whole Polish section in Brooklyn and you can buy anything you want. I love bread and I know a difference bet good and bad bread. My husband grew up in Buffalo on some cotton Americans called bread:))) Now he loves NYC mostly for choices of good bread from all over the world. My favorite is any kind of Indian bread, which I would have problem to find in Poland. I think naan is the best bread in a whole world:)))