The end of Kielbasa Stories???

It may be the end of Kielbasa Stories as we know it.

Anticipated comments:

Reaction 1: What? Chris, no! We love you and Kielbasa Stories so much. You are such a clever and talented writer with an amazing sense of humor. It would be a tragedy to end such a fantastically funny and informative blog. You are a national treasure.

Let’s just clarify that Reaction 1 exists only in my mind where I hold myself in very high esteem.

Reaction 2: Who cares? I just read Kielbasa Stories while I’m waiting for Onet’s homepage to open.

Let’s clarify that Reaction 2 exists in a deep, dark corner of my mind where I go when I’m having a bad day and when my hair looks like crap which is much too often these days.

Reaction 3: No more Kielbasa Stories? Bummer. Let’s see what Stardust is doing.

Let’s clarify that Reaction 3 is probably somewhat closer to reality than Reaction 1 and Reaction 2.

Here’s the deal. In order for Kielbasa Stories to exist and make sense, we have to live in Poland. I mean it is the story of how I moved to Poland and survived.

But….if Jarosław Kaczynski wins in the next presidential election, Misiu says we are out of here. I guess I should start preparing Hot Dog, Hamburger and Apple Pie Stories because we’d be going back to America. Or would we? Misiu said the same thing when Lech Kaczynski became president and somehow we survived.

A brief summary for the politically non-interested people: Jarosław Kaczynski is the identical twin brother of the late Lech Kaczynski, the president who died in a plane crash last month. Lech was seen as conservative (by many as ultra-conservative) and he was accused of nationalism on many occasions. Lech also had very strong political ties with the Catholic Church. His brother, Jarosław, is seen as all those things times 10. I mean his campaign slogan says it all - “Poland is the most important” (Polska jest najważniejsza).

Come on, everybody knows that America is the most important ;)

I’m not saying that Jarosław is a bad candidate. If you are very conservative and religious (read: Catholic), then he is the candidate for you. It used to be said that he would never get elected as he is and always has been single. But (and I don’t mean to be crass) in the hearts and minds of the electorate, a deceased twin brother totally trumps a non-existent first lady.

That leaves us in limbo (not really, I’m just kidding about the move) until after the election. Of course, there is a strong chance that the acting president Bronisław Komorowski will win the election as predicted before the death of Lech Kaczynski.

It got to me thinking about my voting habits. I tend to vote moderate to liberal, and since I have moved to Poland I have voted pretty liberal (I’m talking about the US elections ‘cause I can’t vote here). Americans abroad tend to vote like me. Poles abroad are split. Poles in Europe tend to vote moderate to liberal as well, while Poles in the US tend to vote conservative. Perhaps it has to do with age and has not as much to do with immigration. Poles spread throughout Europe tend to be part of the new immigration and are a bit younger, while Poles in the US tend to be from an earlier wave of immigration and tend to be a bit older. They’d probably vote the same way if they still lived in Poland.

A couple of nights ago, I did have a dream that we were moving back to the US. In my dream, I was crying uncontrollably. Yes, yes, I would miss Poland a lot, but that’s not why I was crying. I was crying because I had come to the realization (in my dream) that I wouldn’t be able to pack my Polish pottery collection and take it with me and I would have to…..SELL IT!!!!! And the tears came rolling down. I know that some of you completely and totally understand what I am talking about.

Anyone want to buy a superb Polish pottery collection real cheap? Contact me after the elections.