A very merry and rustic Christmas czyli Christmas Unplugged

We are going to be spending a very merry and rustic Christmas. What’s that mean exactly? No cell phone coverage (unless you stand in the field and hold the phone up to the heavens) and no internet either. Add to that no satellite TV and we're probably going to get really fat this Christmas.
Just how fat?
There will be a full report after the new year.
Merry Christmas!

Kolędy and Christmas festivities

I am busy, busy, busy with work. I have no time for anything and no time to write. I don’t even know why I bother, with the world coming to an end and all this Friday on my 13th wedding anniversary. It’s just a coincidence I’m sure.

This week one of my student’s showed me his record collection, I mean vinyl collection -that sounds cooler. I guess we are going steady now ;)

Lizzie and Rosie have been brushing up on their Christmas carols both in Polish and in English. “Gloria, i bezsensu Deo” is a popular tune in our house ;)

Christmas carols are called kolędy in Polish. So that would mean that caroling is kolędować or kolędowanie. Once upon a time, I found out that the priest was coming a-caroling to our building. I was pretty excited. The priest and 2 altar boys were going to come to our door and sing. How awesome, I thought. Polish priests rock! Except that when the priest comes caroling it doesn’t mean that he sings. Bummer. He just chats you up, blesses your home, says some prayers and accepts donations. That’s not quite what I had in mind.

We’ve been doing a lot of Christmas stuff such as cleaning our house, shopping, making lists and checking them twice, going to Santa Claus parties and whatnot. Santa Claus comes to our house twice, but we have the cover story all worked out. You see, Santa comes to our house on December 6th, Santa Claus Day, to get the girls’ Christmas letters and to leave something sweet. The real show is Christmas Eve/Christmas morning bardzo po amerykańsku.

First we hit the City Jarmark.

Pajda rules, by the way. It’s a big hunk of bread, spread with lard that has bits of meat in it and then topped with ogórki kiszone. Oh, unless you get something on the menu which was called (I swear I am not kidding) “Pajda Full Wypas”. In addition to lard it was topped with kielbasa, fried onions and optional bigos. Yummy.

Next, we hit the Village Santa Claus Day party sponsored by the local government. It was, um, interesting. All I have to say is that if you pick a guy to play Santa from the group of guys who drink in front of the shop, why don’t you pick the big, tall guy with a very Santa-like belly? Why pick the slimmest guy of them all? Maybe he was the most sober?

Rosie waiting above. Lizzie waiting below.

Then we hit the Village Jarmark where I reaffirmed my belief in the power of pajda and got to know that grzaniec, in fact, has a lot of alcohol in it.



   
In case I don’t catch you again before Christmas, I wish you a very Merry Christmas filled with family, delicious food, beautiful decorations, rest and relaxation.  Stay warm and safe travels.

Winter is here.

Time to break out my Relaksy.

Sure, my Relaksy are much more modern that this guy’s. Mine aren’t even real “Relaksy”, just Relakso-podobne from Puma. But my feet are warm and dry and that’s all that really matters.

I tried to persuade Misiu to get himself a pair of kultowy Relaksy which have been re-introduced to the market by Wojas. Misiu isn’t turned on by winter footwear and he wasn’t especially turned on by Relaksy by Wojas when he saw the price – over 400 PLN. C’mon, Relaksy are the ultimate egalitarian footwear. How can they cost so much? OK, they’re cheaper than the Ecco’s I was looking at, but are definitely more than the Puma’s I ultimately purchased. Wojas, shame on you ;)

You think you know somebody

Today’s good news is that I managed to avoid feces of all kind, fiend and fowl (or is it fish or fowl, or beast or fowl, or something like that?). Considering last Friday, that made for a good day.

Mister “Jewish Conspiracy Theory” kept a lid on it. Considering our last conversation, that made for a good day. (He probably just thinks I’m part of the spisek.)

This week I learned that just because someone seems to be like you, doesn’t mean that they actually are like you. I mean, the lady with the dog on the bus, let’s assume that she was somewhat like me. I mean we were both on the bus at the same time…ok, the similarities end there but I know that if my (imaginary) dog were to poo on the bus, I would be responsible for picking it up. I thought that everyone knew that. I guess not. Pan Spisek isn’t so different from me. I mean we like a lot of the same books and have a similar sense of humor. I mean, I know the Jews are not out to get me and I thought that he did too. That’s what you get for making assumptions.

Take my  “American” neighbor. Do you remember him? I have an American car. He has an American car. He wears a “Vote Obama” hat. He picks up after his dog. We live on the same street. You’d think we’d have similar world views, but as I’ve recently learned we couldn’t be more different.

I ran into my American neighbor (40 years in America, retired to Poland) while he was out walking his dog. He greeted me with a “Good Morning” and started a conversation about the recent elections in the US. The conversation quickly turned from English to Polish as we both realized that the last 6 years in Poland has not done wonders for his English. The conversation got real weird real fast after that. My neighbor informed me that you just can’t get good, reliable news anywhere. All the TV channels and radio stations spew lies. Lies, I tell you! They just try to entertain you to distract you from the real issues. If you want to find out what is really going on you can get the truth in only 2 places. Radio Maryja and Telewizja Trwam. And he just heard on Radio Maryja (of all places) that America has 0% inflation because they just keep on printing all that money. Dollars everywhere. But in Poland we don’t do that. We know that we have to suffer inflation with a strong back.

He wears Uggs for gawd’s sake!

And OK, increasing the money supply (which can be done by manipulating the interest rate, money printing nonessential) during an economic downturn usually does not increase inflation, but I’m not sure that’s exactly how the “economists” at RM explained the situation.

What was I doing during this (one-sided) conversation? Standing with my mouth very elegantly hanging open. You can call it my Jewish-conspiracy face. I was speechless. Literally, speechless. All I could manage to say was the super intelligent, “Ja nie przepadam za Radio Maryja.” I also said that I would be late picking up my kids from school and I high-tailed it out of there.

You think you know a person.

What a day

You know what’s worse than being shat on? Having to spend an hour listening to a well-respected individual lay-out the whole “Jewish conspiracy” for you and then laugh at you when you don’t agree. At least I’ll get paid.

Do jasnej cholery!

This day has been a very shitty one, literally.

To start, I am carless  - not to be confused with careless. Also not to be confused with carfree. I am carless so that means without a car, without a choice. Why? Bo samochód się zrypał and for good this time. I’m a little sad about it. That was a good car. I drove it all over- in my hometown, to my first big job in Baltimore, in the Big Apple, in Warsaw, all over Poland, to Berlin. Bummer. I even shed a tear when I went to the mechanic to say my final good-byes.

So anyhow, that means Misiu and I have to trade off between bus and public transport. Every Friday Misiu is out of town so it’s the bus for me, all over town.

As I walked the kids to school this morning, I was feeling pretty good. The girls had woken up by themselves and had dressed themselves with minimal fuss. We were out the door with plenty of time to spare. As I left the school and glanced at the clock, I knew I would make it to the bus on time. Ding-dong, all’s well. Then as I stepped outside, a very nasty bird made a very nasty mess on me. I know it’s supposed to be good luck, but do jasnej cholery, it isn’t. I cleaned it off the best I could with a tissue and told myself that it wasn’t so bad.

And it wasn’t. I caught my bus even with time to spare. Ding-dong, all is well and I’m on my way to work. The bus was a bit crowded especially with the lady and her dog. We drove, we stopped, we drove, we turned, we lurched – all the fun of riding the bus. The lady with the dog got off and the folks who had been standing around her relaxed and took advantage of the extra space to move around a bit. Ding-dong, all was well…except for some terrible smell. City buses are not known for their sweet smell, but this was especially putrid. Ah, the lady and the dog had left a nice present for us. It was especially priceless for the 6 of us in the center of the bus who had managed to step in it and spread it around. So much fun for the small fare of 3 zl.

A Polish Thanksgiving

Along with Halloween, we celebrate Thanksgiving here in Poland. When I say “we” I mean our family. Thanksgiving hasn’t made it into the Polish holiday line-up ;) I’m always kind of bummed out on Thanksgiving because I know my family in the US is sitting down together for dinner and I am…at work. Our Thanksgiving always takes place on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Not quite the same but good enough.
Do you know what is the best thing about Thanksgiving (besides family and giving thanks and all that)?
The pumpkin pie! I had to practice to make sure I remember how to make pumpkin pie from last year. Here’s my first practice pie. My second one didn’t turn out.

And now the best thing about NOT having Thanksgiving in Poland…no Black Friday! I am much thankful for that.
Chris’s Pumpkin Pie Recipe – The no-crust version (which is really my mother’s pumpkin pie minus the crust and some sugar)

Ingredients

1 cup flour

1 ½ tsp. baking powder

1/8 tsp. salt

spices to taste (cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg)

½ square butter

¾ cup sugar (white or brown)

2 eggs

½ tsp. vanilla extract

1 can evaporated milk (non-sweetened)

3 cups pumpkin (cooked and mixed)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 180°C. Grease one glass pie pan with butter (bottom and sides) and set aside.

1. Sift or mix together flour, baking powder, salt and spices.

1. In a large bowl, beat together sugar and butter (slightly softened). Beat in 2 eggs.

1. Add dry ingredients and vanilla. Mix.

1. Add pumpkin and mix.

1. Add milk and stir with a spoon.

1. Pour into prepared pan. Bake at 180°C for about 1 hour. Let cool before cutting.

1 cup=235 ml
tsp.=teaspoon
1 tsp.=5ml

Enjoy :)